The cliché is that when couples decide to divorce – at least one divorce lawyer smiles. But like any cliché, it may be funny at first glance, but the gap between it and reality is certainly far. In fact, divorce is a complex, sad, and sometimes very “ugly” business. In Israel, divorce is also unusually complex, due to the combination of archaic and religious law, with groundbreaking civil law..
In the article below, we will try to present a kind of guide for anyone who has decided to get divorced. We will explain what the divorce process involves, how to properly conduct a divorce process, and finally, we will provide ten tips that can be useful to any divorcee who is interested in conducting an easy and quick divorce process. So, let’s get started, shall we?
Just before everything else, a note: The article is written in the masculine for convenience, but refers to both genders..
The hardest part – making the decision:
The divorce process does not begin on the day the divorce decree is issued or the day the lawsuit is filed with the Rabbinical Court – but on the day the decision is made in your heart. It is usually a long process, in which the relationship between the spouses has not been going well. Sometimes, the decision is made after an important and extreme event (such as infidelity)..
However, there is no doubt that the most difficult part, in most cases, is making the decision. Usually, there are considerations in favor of divorce and considerations against it. For example, the fear of financial difficulties may, more than once, delay the decision to divorce. On the other hand, the desire to maintain the family bond and the relationship also lead to a delay in making the decision.
How do you start the process?
Usually, the first step is to file for divorce. This is where the issue gets complicated. In Israel, marriages and divorces are conducted according to personal-religious law, which applies to the spouses. That is, when it comes to Jews, who are Israeli citizens, the divorce in their case will be conducted according to religious-Hebrew law. This means that divorces between Jews are conducted before the Rabbinical Court.
In Israel, there are a number of rabbinical courts, which are distributed according to the jurisdictional districts. The rabbinical courts are dominated by the Great Rabbinical Court, which serves as an appeals court for the regional courts. As a rule, hearings before the rabbinical court are held before a panel of three judges. These are not judges, but judges who are elected by a special committee. The procedures in the rabbinical court are similar to the procedures in the courts, but are set out in special regulations..
Hence, in the first stage, a divorce lawsuit must be filed with the Rabbinical Court and a fee must be paid when the lawsuit is filed. The lawsuit must include the facts relevant to the lawsuit, the details of the parties, the details of the children together, and more..
A divorce claim is actually a legal claim for all intents and purposes. That is, if in a financial claim the cause of the claim must be proven (for example: a contract), in a divorce claim a cause of divorce must be proven by virtue of Jewish religious law. Among the grounds for divorce recognized in Jewish law: infidelity, an act of ugliness, “transgressing the Jewish religion” (i.e. a woman who misleads the man into acting contrary to religion, etc.), infertility, violence, inappropriate behavior, sexual dissatisfaction, etc..
In the second stage, after the filing of the lawsuit, the couple will be summoned to a hearing. The couple can be represented by a divorce lawyer. Usually, in the first hearing, an attempt will be made to compromise and mediate between the couple, in order to bring them to peace at home. At the same time, if the attempt is unsuccessful, a date for a hearing or additional hearings will be set. During the conduct of the divorce lawsuit, witnesses will testify before the court and will even be cross-examined. Upon completion of the hearing of the evidence in the divorce lawsuit, the parties will summarize their arguments and finally a verdict will be issued..
It should be noted that a divorce proceeding in the Rabbinical Court does not necessarily have to be conducted as a lengthy legal action. There is another way to divorce in the Rabbinical Court – and that is by consent. In such cases, the couple must sign a divorce agreement, which is like a contract for all intents and purposes. Then, an agreed claim must be filed with the Rabbinical Court, as such claims are accepted without any particular difficulty, unlike a regular divorce claim, which, as mentioned, is no small matter..
What are the powers of the Rabbinical Court?
The Rabbinical Court has the authority to hear only matters of marriage and divorce. The Court does not have the authority to hear matters that do not concern divorce or marriage between Jews. However, it should be noted that the term “marriage and divorce” includes alimony claims, a ketubah claim, a claim for peace of mind, and more. In addition, the Rabbinical Court has the option of “acquiring” authority to hear matters of property or child custody, in cases where the divorce claim involves those issues..
The authority of the court to “acquire authority” and thus adjudicate matters over which it has no authority in the first place is called in legal parlance the “competence race” between the Rabbinical Court and the Family Court. The latter is a civil court, entrusted with adjudicating all family matters, except matters relating to marriage and divorce (however, alimony claims can be filed with the Family Court)..
It is important to note that not every time a party in a divorce proceeding wishes to file a claim that covers all issues of the divorce (and precedes the other party) with the Rabbinical Court – they can do so. Sometimes, the other party can claim that the Court lacks authority to discuss issues other than “marriage and divorce”, such as when: the coverage of the divorce claim is not honest, constitutes abuse, and more.
So much for the divorce itself, as it is not only in the rabbinical court that the couple will “spend” time during the divorce. Beyond the divorce process, the couple must also settle financial matters (i.e. their joint property and its division), child support, and child custody. More on this later..
“We have children together – what do we do?”
There is no doubt that one of the most difficult issues in the divorce process is the issue of child custody. Each parent wants to be with their children, to be close to them, to be a partner in their lives and to take part in them..
The divorce process usually requires the determination of custody and the imposition of ongoing responsibility on one of the parents. Hence, it is possible to work towards joint custody, which in effect requires both parents to take care of the children together on an ongoing basis. On the other hand, it is possible to work towards obtaining “visitation arrangements.” In such cases, the ongoing responsibility for raising the children falls on one of the parents and the other parent will be responsible for caring for the children on certain days that will be determined, whether in an agreement or in a judgment..
That is, the issue of custody can be settled, as stated, in an arrangement between the spouses or, alternatively, by filing a custody claim. A custody claim can, as stated, be filed together with the divorce claim to the Rabbinical Court. On the other hand, it can be filed with the Family Court.
“What about all the possessions we have accumulated in our lives?”
Division of property often leads to arguments between spouses. One party believes that the other party is not entitled to rights in the joint property (for example, when it comes to a business that was established before the marriage), sometimes the other party claims that certain property belongs to him only due to a personal investment on his behalf, without the spouse taking part in it. Such cases are quite common and are naturally accompanied by a lot of resentment and anger, which certainly does not contribute to the simplicity of such conflicts..
First of all, in order to work towards an efficient and quick division of property, it is always advisable to sign a financial agreement, even before marriage. A financial agreement is actually a waiver of the resource balancing arrangement stipulated in the Financial Relations Law, 5733-1973 (which stipulates an equal division of property in most cases). In addition, a financial agreement can reduce future disputes over property matters. Therefore, it seems that almost every divorce attorney will recommend signing a financial agreement, since reality indicates that the value of this agreement is invaluable. It should also be emphasized that a financial agreement must be approved by a court in order to have binding legal effect..
However, to the extent that the spouses have not signed a financial agreement, the legal default is, as stated, equal division. However, in the framework of implementing the resource balancing arrangement stipulated in the law, property given as a gift to one of the spouses, disability pension or old age pension, which one of the spouses receives, is not taken into account. To the extent that there is no agreement between the spouses, it is possible to file a lawsuit to dissolve the partnership between the spouses (when the dispute is about the residential apartment) or a lawsuit to divide property, in the Family Court..
“I have to raise two children – am I entitled to child support?”
Alimony is a payment intended to support the father’s children during a separation. The obligation to pay alimony is a religious obligation, originating from religious law (this obligation exists in all monotheistic religions). Therefore, already at the stage of separation, the woman can file a claim for temporary alimony and then file a claim for permanent alimony. The obligation to pay alimony is incumbent on the father until the children are discharged from the army, with the rate varying from age to age..
Typically, child support amounts to approximately 1,200 NIS, which is the minimum amount. The higher the father’s salary, the higher the amounts. As mentioned, a child support claim can be filed with the Rabbinical Court as a “related” claim, or with the Family Court. Alternatively, it is also possible to reach an agreement on child support, but any agreement between spouses regarding the amount of child support must be approved by a judicial body..
Ten tips for the beginning divorcee:
To divorce amicably – To divorce amicably, you can start with the little things: not “doing it exactly”, behaving respectfully, helping your spouse when needed, making small gestures sometimes, and more. The meaning of all those actions is to bring about a situation in which the couple will maintain a proper relationship. The more the couple maintains a proper relationship, the more likely the divorce will be amicable, for the benefit of everyone..
To behave respectfully and respectfully – You can choose to wage divorce wars, as every ordinary citizen hears from time to time. But divorce proceedings are complex, expensive, and emotionally difficult. You can divorce with dignity. To divorce with dignity, you must behave with dignity towards your former spouse. You are not divorcing a business partner, but rather the person you married – it is worth remembering this, maintaining kindness, and respecting.
Don’t shoot cannons. – You can also mediate – there are lawyers who will recommend that you go to court and stand up for your rights, this is not necessarily a bad recommendation. However, Recommended divorce lawyer And an experienced lawyer will usually recommend that you try to manage the divorce process within the framework of a mediation process..
In contrast to conducting a legal process, a mediation process is designed to bring the spouses to an agreement, make it easier for them during the divorce process, and ensure that the divorce ends quickly, comfortably, and amicably. In the mediation process, the spouses are the ones who dictate the tone, the duration of the meeting, the times of the meeting, the topics they want to discuss at the meeting, and more..
In court, spouses leave the final decision to the judge, who is also usually limited in time. Therefore, during the divorce process, it is worth considering going to mediation. You can always go to court, especially if mediation fails..
Get legal advice – There is no way to get divorced without getting legal advice. It is true that you can get divorced without a divorce lawyer. But the risk and difficulty you will take on yourself are simply not worth it. Divorce requires expertise, understanding and experience. In general, managing a divorce process is managing a legal process in every sense of the word, and therefore requires planning and building a proper divorce strategy. Only a divorce lawyer can provide all of these services to his client. Therefore, we believe that the first thing to do before a divorce is to seek legal advice..
Do not deny “peace at home” – There is no doubt that the moment you arrive at the first hearing at the rabbinical court you will be charged, angry, irritable – and eager to get a quick divorce. You will be surprised to know that the rabbinical court may invest a great deal of effort in finding a compromise between the spouses..
Therefore, you have two options. One option is to politely refuse. The other is to listen wholeheartedly, perhaps even to be convinced. Of course, the latter option is relevant when the couple really want peace at home, even if in the heat of anger, they forgot about it..
Renewed connections – Before you got married, you had many friends. You were happily single, you had fun, went out, drank and celebrated like singles should (and should) do. One happy day you met your partner, got married and then suddenly discovered that it was hard to maintain relationships with all the friends at once..
Don’t feel bad. – This is a natural thing and happens to everyone. However, now you have divorced – and this means that you are single again. How do you feel about this? We recommend looking at the glass half full and enjoying your renewed singlehood, which comes with life experience. By the way – this is exactly the time to renew ties with good friends from the past, whose ties have weakened during the years of marriage, not because of a quarrel, but because of the necessity of everyone’s abrasive and intense reality.
Spend time with the kids – Divorce does not only harm the spouses, it harms, perhaps most of all, the children. The children are the weakest, most fragile factor and it is most difficult for them to adapt to the new reality, in which the parents are no longer together. Therefore, one of the most important pieces of advice for anyone getting divorced is not to neglect the relationship with their children. Even if there are disputes regarding custody or child support, under no circumstances should you bring the children into the fray. At the same time, as mentioned, make sure to maintain and strengthen the relationship with your children..
Emotional support from relatives and friends is not a shame: There is no difference between contacting a divorce lawyer and seeking help from relatives/friends. Now, during the divorce stage, there is no shame in seeking a listening ear and support. Every divorcee experiences mental and emotional difficulties during the divorce. Therefore, contacting anyone close to your heart for advice is a blessing.
Saving is also not a shame: Divorce proceedings are characterized by financial hardship. In the past, the divorcing couple enjoyed a secure family unit, where both spouses worked, earned a decent salary, and supported the household. Now, each party must fend for themselves. Therefore, during the divorce period, there is no shame in saving money, in getting used to (at least for a while) a lower standard of living than the one you were used to. Admittedly, it will be difficult, but you are saving for a worthy cause. In the end, after everything passes, you will manage to get back on your feet and get by again..
Believe in yourself: Any divorce lawyer will testify that in divorce proceedings, especially those that take a long time due to litigation, couples forget, at some point, what the purpose was for which they decided to divorce. The debate, the fights, the legal battles, the large sums of money that are found during the process, make people forget the fact that they are divorcing because they want a better life, a better relationship, and more. Therefore, do not forget your goals. Remember that you are divorcing for a worthy purpose, in the end.
In conclusion:
Getting divorced is not easy, that is certainly not in dispute. However, it is important to remember a few ironclad rules: behave respectfully, contact a divorce lawyer, take a deep breath and dive into the process, if you really want it. If you are in doubt, it is recommended to try to work on the relationship and perhaps avoid this difficult process..
Don’t hesitate and don’t rack your brains on your own – contact us.
Want to know more about divorce proceedings?
Click here for personal legal advice!
Read more information and articles on the website
Divorce only through an experienced lawyer! – Why is it necessary to use an experienced and professional lawyer to guide you through the divorce process? An article by lawyer Sharon Segal explains the great duty of representation by an expert divorce lawyer.
