Open marriage in the light of family law
In recent years, the divorce rate in Israel has been on a drastic rise. Data shows that 60% of married couples who remain in a relationship cheat on each other, and alongside so many couples who live in secret or choose to break up the family unit and divorce, there are also those who have realized that the institution of marriage in its current, monogamous form is simply no longer relevant to our times.
Those couples who love each other and have Divorce Not an option, they are interested in continuing their relationship, under the conditions they see fit, within the framework of an open marriage.
They claim that monogamy is nothing more than a cultural coercion and that human nature is not monogamous, and therefore there is no logic in imposing monogamous relationships, but rather that it is better to practice polyamory and thus avoid both. Cheating And they are divorced.
Unlike the strict rules that bind the parties within monogamous relationships in the formal institution of marriage, in an open marriage the couple are the ones who determine the rules that suit them and the degree of openness in the marriage, not necessarily in a sexual sense.
This means that in every relationship, other conventions are established according to which the couple is obligated to act, of course as long as there is mutual agreement on those rules.
For some, having sex with other partners is only allowed when staying abroad and as long as it is a one-time partner, for others, it is allowed to sleep with the same partner multiple times.
For some, intimate meetings are only allowed outside the home, while for others, the additional partner also comes home and even takes an active part on a sexual level with both partners.
Some do not want to know about other ongoing relationships, while others demand full reporting and detail. For some, openness can only be expressed on the sexual level, while for others there is no obstacle to having romantic relationships with other people, and so on.
These are the legal aspects of an open marriage.
Jewish law prohibits open marriages, does not recognize them, and regards having sexual relations outside of marriage as adultery.
This is even if things are done by mutual consent and with a declared intention to do so. The question arises as to why this is relevant to the discussion, since most couples who maintain open relationships are more liberal and secular people from the outset and therefore have no interest in involving the Rabbinate in everything that happens in their bedroom.
The problem is that if you got married in a rabbinate and later decided to end the relationship, if, God forbid, you want to get a divorce, you will inevitably encounter difficulties. From the Rabbinate And in particular with regard to the woman’s rights in the divorce process.
Because the rabbinical courts in Israel are the only ones authorized to hear divorce proceedings, couples who were married in the rabbinate, had an open marriage over the years, and decided to separate will be forced to deal with the rabbinate’s lack of recognition of their open marriage.
What does this mean? From the Rabbinate’s perspective, open marriages do not exist, and therefore, in the event of a divorce, the woman will be considered to have committed fornication under her husband, and therefore she is forbidden to both her husband and her stepfather.
Not only that, but she will be deprived of her rights to alimony and child support. Ketubah And the man will be obligated to give her a divorce, even if he doesn’t want to.
Let us clarify that this No will child support be affected That the father will be required to pay and also not Regarding the division of property And the viewing arrangements. On the other hand, the man is treated differently – if this was done once, he could demand peace at home, and if he slept with a large number of women, he would be considered a shepherd of prostitutes, and then the situation would be different.
This is the place to clarify that if you know in advance at the beginning that your goal is to have an open relationship, in all its aspects, it is better to choose Other alternatives to marriage in the rabbinate.
So that if, God forbid, you decide to separate, you won’t have to go through the path out of marriage through the Rabbinate, which, as mentioned, views open marriages in a negative light and even ignores the existence of open marriages.
How to have an open relationship without destroying your family
Apart from legal aspects, in order to To succeed to have a healthy and happy relationship And especially in an open relationship, it is very important that both partners accept the conventions of the relationship with love and willingness, without jealousy and out of a mutual desire to benefit and develop their partner – both on a sexual and personal level.
In order for trust to be maintained and an open marriage to be successful, it is necessary to adhere to the conventions of the relationship in order to avoid creating tension, frustration, and insecurity in one of the parties.
Read more on the topic: Practical tools to help you revive your marriage
