Divorce in the Religious Sector: Points for Thought
The dream of a healthy and happy relationship can come true, but not for everyone. In recent years, we have witnessed a trend in which more and more couples decide to divorce.
The increase is not only among secular people, but also among the religious and ultra-Orthodox public in Israel. A survey conducted shows that over the past decade there has been a significant increase in the percentage of divorces in cities with a religious character, and the numbers continue to climb with each passing year.
The reasons for divorce are different for each couple, but we can see recurring patterns that lead religious couples to decide to break up the family unit and separate.
There is no doubt that the decision to separate is not easy, especially not in a society that encourages preserving the family unit and strongly condemns separations without acceptable grounds for divorce, but it is a decision that, at the end of the day, in certain cases, must be made..
In the review before you, I explain Editor Justice Sharon Segal The reasons that lead religious couples to divorce, while addressing the differences in divorces among people from the secular and religious sectors, as well as all the points that are important to consider before breaking up and getting divorced.
This is so that you too can make a wise decision and break up the family unit with maximum respect and with minimal emotional and financial damage.
Why do religious couples decide to divorce?
Despite the popular belief that infidelity between religious couples is the main reason for initiating proceedings Divorce, The facts on the ground show that the common reasons for divorce in the religious sector are actually related to other factors.
For example, marriage at a young age, immaturity for parenthood, lack of smart planning of the family unit, financial difficulties, infertility, problems with the mother-in-law, lies that were hidden before the wedding, such as health or mental health problems of one of the spouses, lack of communication, and more.
Beyond the reasons mentioned above, the trend of strengthening the status of women, even among the religious public, is causing many women to awaken, leading them to decide that it is time to say goodbye and embark on a new and independent path.
Today, religious women not only stay at home with the children, but they also acquire an education, go out to work, and “mix” with the environment more than in the past.
The tools that these women collect along the way, which often come after years of living together in a suffocating relationship, make them open their eyes, disgusted by the suffocating relationship they find themselves in, and seek themselves outside the conservative framework of marriage.
By the way, the understanding that they are in a restrictive relationship is not necessarily related to a desire to distance themselves from religion, and it often happens that these women are interested in continuing to observe and fulfill the commandments, simply within another family unit, one that will allow them to flourish and develop. Something that is sometimes lacking within the family structure in which they live.
Let us clarify and say that in any case where the reason for the separation is related to For domestic violence , which is directed towards the mother and/or the children, must not be ignored and in any case, one must contact a professional in order to put an end to this harmful and dangerous situation as quickly as possible.
Divorce among religious versus secular couples
The main difference between divorces among religious couples and divorces among secular couples is related to the social structures of each group.
As a general rule, secular people have a lighter hand on the trigger when it comes to divorce, and accordingly, the attitude of those around them toward divorcees is also softer and full of compassion and empathy.
In contrast, among religious couples, it is almost never seen Divorce fast – Immediately after the wedding. Among religious people, and especially among the ultra-Orthodox, the dissolution of the family unit is seen as a personal and marital failure, a failure that accompanies the divorced couple for the rest of their lives and makes it very difficult for them to find a new relationship and start a new chapter.
When those around us don’t stand behind our decisions, it’s much more difficult to take a courageous step like divorce, and this is, among other things, what causes women and men from the religious sector who want to get divorced to try at all costs. Save the marriage, to preserve the old structure and not destroy the family.
Dealing with social exclusion, as well as questions like: What will happen on the holidays? Who will read the prayers that only men are allowed to say? Who will go to synagogue with the boys? And so on, are frightening and remain unanswered.
Likewise, economic dependence, especially in religious families, prevents women from divorcing, and despite That the fear of saying goodbye And being alone exists for everyone, both religious and secular, it seems that religious people are more afraid.
The society that looks down on divorce, financial fear, and questions about the children’s future, understandably The best interests of the children come first., floating and suffocating the space.
It’s important to consider before you break up…
No matter what the reason is for you to want to break up, sometimes the desire to make amends is not enough.
Therefore, if you have tried to solve the problems in the relationship, if you have turned to For mediation To find a common language, but nothing has helped and you are determined to get a divorce, there are a few things you should consider.
There are many Myths about separation and divorce, such as that it is always better for a man to divorce at the rabbinate and for a woman to go to the family court, that the man is obligated to pay the amount promised in the ketubah, that someone who is in the West Bank is not entitled to For food children Or they will take her children, because women who are refused a divorce cannot marry again, and so on.
This is the place to say that many of these myths are completely unfounded, and therefore it is very important to contact an experienced family law attorney to get the right advice. Personal Legal Advice.
Divorce, especially in the religious sector, is not a simple matter at all, but it is certainly possible to say goodbye and start a new and more successful chapter, if you do it right. The most important tip is not to act rashly and to make decisions only after consulting with a professional who understands the field and whom you trust.
More on the topic: Status of the Ketubah in the divorce proceedings
